matilda-'s Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- how the hell you been? It's been a while. Darin died last Friday in surgery and the funeral was this last Tuesday. How the hell did this happen, you say? He was in a car accident a few months back and was out of touch for a while. Here I'd thought he was hiding out, wanting to be alone for a while when really it was that he couldn't. I told Dick about it on Sunday and he never contacted me again until Tuesday. And now that I think about it, we only talked because he saw me online. He never called. He never emailed me to see how I was doing. So what if Darin was my sisters best friend and not mine. Did he not mean that much to me then? I don't know. I just thought... Tuesday night I called him for something and I ended up saying something I immediately regreted. I thought he was spending too much time getting to know my mother. But it wasn't until that night that I thought maybe he was interested in her a little too much. I said something like "What am I going to do with you Richard? First a lesbian and now a crazy woman?" I don't know where that came from. So now he thinks I'm angry with him or some shit like that and he hasn't tried to talk to me since then. Big fat WHATEVER. And now Ron and I aren't speaking. It's all my fault, I'm sure. I lumped him in with all the other buttheads in my life. Somebody always wants something from Kendall. I was wrong. Ron isn't like that at all. And I attacked him. I think I told him he drinks too much because he's unhappy with his life. And I would know this how? So neither of us has written the other in 7 days. Now he's out sailing and it will be days before he comes back on MSN or AIM. But I have my nose hair once again. I have eyebrows filling in. I have eyelashes! My doctor actually suggested I go on a low dose chemo for a while even though things are starting to look better without the killer drugs. A pill form I'd take every day at home. I laughed at him. I laughed all the way out the door. I bet I looked like a crazy woman. Good for me :) 13:21 - Thursday, May. 23, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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